George Washington, Lying Bastard

Here at Magick Sandwich, we call 'em like we see 'em. And we are disgusted at the latest revelation about the father of our country.

To our founder's long list of offenses--apocryphal cherry tree killer, disloyal British subject, lambskin apron-wearing Freemason, rumored Lafayette fondler--we must now add this: book thief. 

That's right, according to the New York Daily News, George Washington owes three hundred thousand dollars to the New York Society Library for two books he borrowed on October 5, 1789 and failed to return.

To be fair to our first president, he might have had a good reason. Maybe he was using them to teach his slaves to read.