The Canyon of Zeroes


At Magick Sandwich, we love a parade. We're not made of stone, after all.

Once again, the Yankees are champions of baseball!!!

So, let me take a moment to explain the title of this post. When I say zeroes, I am not referring to a lack of talent, simply to the excess of zeroes on these people's paychecks.

It's been nine years since our home team dominated the sport. Considering the extremely well-paid guy pile above, what took them so long? Modell's Sporting Goods was swamped yesterday with fans buying Yankee memorabilia. Why not just wear a moth-eaten t-shirt from an old win and show you're not just a fair weather fan?

At 11 A.M. this morning, these players will take a ride up the famed "Canyon of Heroes" and enjoy the adulation of an estimated two million fans who will gather along the route. (Statistically, 10.2 percent of them will be unemployed and have nothing better to do than celebrate spoiled sports stars.)

This ticker tape parade has a long history: honorees have included John Glenn, Nelson Mandela, the Apollo 8 astronauts and lots and lots of other Yankee teams. It's been a long time since Wall Street has used ticker tape. Perhaps this year they'll shower the Yanks with shredded hopes and dreams?

Then, at City Hall, they will be presented with the Key to the City by Mike Bloomberg, the man who just bought himself a third term as mayor by spending ninety million dollars of his own money on his campaign. There's a certain symmetry to that.

I live in NYC and I love it, warts and all. I think it's the greatest place on earth. But I don't want to indulge the all-American denial mechanism so many citizens have when it comes to criticism. I think the Daddy Warbucks mentality on display today is a bit grotesque.

And it's going to be impossible to go anywhere downtown. As I said before, I love a a parade, with one caveat: it must not inconvenience me in any way. And that is the definition of a real New Yorker.

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