20-something bum: Excuse me, miss, can I please have a cigarette? Young woman smoking: Sure. 20-something bum: Thank you so much. I just took a huge hit of heroin and a cigarette after is the balls. Young woman smoking: Well, happy trails!
--14th St & 3rd Ave
*****
Ghetto mother: Say goodbye to your daddy because you ain't never gonna see him again. Ghetto child: Bye daddy!
--Staten Island Ferry Terminal
*****
Tourist dad: Sorry, but where are we right now? Local: Midgard. Tourist dad: Thanks! Wait, what?
--Union Square
*****
Hipster to 50-something tourist who is blocking the way: Hey, lady, where you from? Woman, proudly: Kansas. Hipster: Well, Dorothy, this is not Kansas. This is Times Square, New York City, now get the fuck out of the way! (crowd cheers)
--Times Square
*****
Tourist, taking photo to woman walking in front of camera: Hey! You ruined my picture! Aggravated city woman: And you ruined my city!
NY!