High Brow, Low Brow, Meet-me-in-the-Middle Brow


New York magazine has posted a story on its website about Michelle Obama's eyebrows, ostensibly to praise and compare them to those of her makeup artist. You can read it here. This is just the validation I was looking for to confirm that my opinion on this matters.
Now that they mention it, MObama's brows are a bit RuPaul for my taste. Some say they make her look angry. (Yes, people say this and other people apparently listen.) They could be a verbal fist bump to the LGBT crowd or a way to honor the film oeuvre of John Waters.
Or it could be the classic mistake that women with high foreheads make, just filling in that space to avoid looking like a beluga whale sans blowhole. I'm not sure. She gets a lot of praise for her fashion sense, too. To me, she looks like she was wearing a smock when the Crayola factory blew up, then forgot to take it off. And um, oh yeah...who cares?

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Taking a break from the brow issue for a moment, I'd like to mention something else that bothers me. Angelina Jolie's hands don't match her face. Have you noticed?
In this photo, she looks like the Crypt Keeper is trying to grab her by the throat. I'd bet if you touched her, those ropy veins would explode and she'd bleed out before your eyes.

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Of course, a snotty post comme ça would be incomplete without a mention of Susan Boyle's tweezing and general makeover. Her "after" photo ignited debate over whether only chavs wear Burberry plaid. (Seriously.)
Lovely voice notwithstanding, in either shot she looks like a cafeteria lunch lady to me. She may have fewer grays after her trip to the salon but I still picture her in a hairnet using an ice cream scoop to serve mashed potatoes. That said, let's give the poor woman a break. She's British, after all. We should be happy all her teeth point in more or less the right direction and don't have moss on them.

In closing, I hate to say this about someone I so admire...but Kathy Griffin, I just don't get it.
Your body work looks so good! Why didn't your surgeon leave enough skin on your face so you could blink your eyelids without testing the tensile strength of your scalp?
Miss Griffin, I know you have spoken out about your botched surgery since, but did you know that the prick who did your brow lift is still advertising it with your People interview from 2003? Outrageous!

I feel so much better now. Don't you?

Equally deep posts:
Angelina Jolie, Beautiful Freakshow
Hollywood Breakup Shocker...Not!

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